This side of the semicolon ;

In January I felt the Lord asking me to fast and pray for 21 days. It wasn't a part of any group or church or community, it was just something between me and God.  Fasting is hard for me.  I know it is supposed to be hard. Praying on the other hand is quite natural for me. I talk to God all day throughout the day, He is truly my best friend and greatest confidant.  I love Him so dearly and I know without a doubt He loves me.  This season of praying was quite different than any other.  Each morning God woke me up for time for us to visit. Some mornings it was 3:00 am others it was 6:00.  Our visits were long and tough and sweet and covered so many things.  We talked about grace and mercy, loss, grief, death, suicide, forgiveness, kindness and joy, my family, my friends, the missionaries I love, how there are so many things in this world I don't understand, we talked about adoption and finances and supernatural things, hopes, dreams, disappointment, anxiety, healing. 

 I really focused on the Lord's Prayer and how it teaches us to pray. I think the Lord's pray is beautiful all on it's own, but breaking it down and and using the concepts of how He teaches us to pray with my own words, praises, desires was powerful.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give

us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us

not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.

Amen.

Our Father who art in heave, hallowed be thy name. It's just the perfect start to any prayer!  Recognize Him in ALL His Glory!  Praise Him!  Tell Him you know He is Holy!  I spend so many minutes as I wake just repeating His Holy Name and praising Him for just who He is!  As soon as I am stirred in the morning, "Lord, Lord, Lord, I love You, I praise You" are most always my first thoughts. I need Him and He loves hearing me acknowledge Him in all ways.  Just a baby cries out for momma and daddy in the wee dark hours of the morning, I find so much comfort in calling out to my Father in Heaven.  He is always there, always ready to hear my call, cries and praises. 

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Until recently this part of the prayer seemed so large, yet so all or nothing in my mind.  What do I mean by that you may ask? God's kingdom coming to earth only seemed possible if every single thing in our fallen world lined up. What God has showed me is kingdom and heaven are two very different things.  Christians all around the world are building His kingdom one heart/soul at a time. Every moment His Kingdom is grown on this earth and unfortunately free will causes some of it to be chipped away at moments as well. Our earth doesn't have to be heaven where everything is perfect and there is no more sadness or illness for His Kingdom to come!  We, His warriors, can build the kingdom while we wait for His return!  Ok, this is where it gets good. I am not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination.  My mistakes are vast and ugly, my sins are just that....SINS!  But God!  One morning as I was praying and thanking God for His forgiveness of my sins, I heard Him so clearly say "Child, ask Me. Jus ask me."  All my life I have been taught that the moment you repent and ask God to forgive you, He does.  It's instant and it is everlasting.  You don't have to keep begging and begging and begging.  You just ask and He so graciously forgives. The morning I heard Him telling me to ask, I thought there is no way, but then I remembered our God can do anything.  He is God after all.  If He tells you to do it, just do it. He is trustworthy.  So, I asked, "Dear God, please wash away my sins and make me white as snow not just in heaven but on earth."  On earth as it is in heaven took on a whole new meaning that morning.  I had a visual of me standing there covered in the ugliness, the smut, the grossness of sin.  Then literally God poured the blood of Jesus over me.  I was dripping from head to toe in wet, warm, dark red, sticky blood.  Then God took a cloth that was so clean, brand new without any marks of use and wiped every inch of me and as He wiped, I was radiant and pure and clean and free and new.  I glistened just like a new born baby glistens after all the muck of birth is wiped away. I felt the gentleness of His actions. I could literally see the blood spilled from Jesus as He hung on the cross dripping off of me and as God meticulously cleaned me all stains were gone.  I wish I were an artist so I could give you a visual. Blood seems as though it would make more stains, but Jesus' blood has cleansing powers. His grace is more than sufficient.  His blood is cleansing and it's not just in heaven. Christ didn't suffer on that cross for nothing, He suffered for me and for you.

Give us this day our daily bread. Bread, manna. The miraculous bread of heaven.  This isn't just about full bellies. Pray for what you need, what you want, what you hope for. Our daily bread is anything we need to sustain us for today. God already knows what we need, but He loves for us to ask. It's conversation, it's validating we need Him, it's vulnerable on our part and generous on His.  Our very basic needs are so important to Him. 

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. All of us desire to be forgiven of our trespasses, sins, debts and so on, but why is it so hard to forgive others?  Human nature is probably the best answer.  How do we decide who to forgive and who to punish? My heart has pondered this one so much over the last few years. I try so hard to forgive everyone, but it is not easy and it is not always instant. It seems so hypocritical to ask God to forgive me when I am holding onto a grudge, when I am trying to win, when I want punishment for those that wrong me, when people just piss me off.  Mercy is a part of my DNA.  I have been hurt, wronged, trespassed on, mistreated, beat by the hands of a man I loved, cheated on, lied to, slandered against and so on.  I do my very best to forgive and I pray daily; not just as a part of a ceremonial prayer, but truly from my heart that I can forgive and in return I will receive forgiveness for my mistakes, the way I hurt people, the horrible things I have done.  It's part of God's plan for us to forgive. It mirrors Him. It is 100% of the time an act of love.  Love like Jesus! Forgive people!  

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Cover those you love in a hedge of protection!  Temptation is everywhere and we have all been enslaved by some sort of temptation. I cover my family and all those I love in a hedge of protection every morning and praise God every night for keeping us from evil.  I pray 10,000 angels surround us and fight our battles before anything can prosper against us.  I ask the Holy Spirit to walk with us and help us (after all, God sent the Holy Spirit as our helper after Jesus left the earth), to keep us on the right path.  I pray the Holy Spirit speaks to us louder than the enemy.  I ask that a hedge full of thistles, thorns, snares and traps to keep the enemy at bay is wrapped all the way around us. I rebuke every single thing thought, spoken or written against or about us -in truth or fiction- falls to the dry dead places. 

2020 has been tough mentally, physically, financially, spiritually.  Without these hours I've spent with God, I don't know how I could have survived.  Anyone that has followed my blog knows that suicide has been a very real and scary thing I have had to battle. If you had asked me 10 years ago if suicide was something I would personally deal with, I would have thought you were crazy. Now, I want to talk to you about life this side of the semicolon and my truths regarding suicide.  

I have heard it over and over that people are angry at loved ones that ended their lives.  I have heard others say that they don't understand how things can be so bad that suicide is a choice.  People say it is a cowards way out.  Unless you have been filled with so much anxiety and the voice of the enemy screaming at you that life with Jesus is better than dealing with whatever earthly monster you are battling, you don't know.  Let me first speak comfort and sincere condolence to anyone that has had a loved one take their own life.  You need to know that it was not about you, they were not a coward, they didn't just leave you.  A very big and very real enemy was attacking them. It doesn't matter whether it be choices they made that put them in a position they never wanted to be in and it was too late to go back and change it or choices others made that hurt them to the core and left the door wide open for the enemy, you need to forgive them. I can't even put into words how logical the enemy can make that choice seem.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm so sorry for the whole left in your heart.  I'm sorry.  I'm just so sorry.  

For those of you have battled this demon, I pray for you.  I may not know you, but I know your struggle, and I pray for you.  Pray for yourself.  Pray for others.  I'm sorry. I can promise you that you are worthy of living.  You are needed.  You are important.  You are loved.  Believe the truths and rebuke the lies.

I recently lost a very good friend. Someone I loved with all of my heart.  A precious woman of God that left her mark on me and everyone that met her.  Someone that left behind a husband, children and grandchildren.  She didn't take her life.  It was just her time to go home to be with Jesus.  I have seen from a distance the heartbreak her family and friends have felt.  I feel it too. My heart has ached everyday for all those that loved her.  I know she is in a wonderful place!  She is with Jesus.  We don't need to be sad for her, but I am sad for those who love her that still have life to live without her.  Y'all, I couldn't bring myself to go to her funeral.  I feel just awful that I couldn't do it.  Honestly, I just couldn't face her children, her grandchildren, her friends that loved her, her husband.  I couldn't face them, because I had so much guilt that I thought about and had a plan to end my own life just a short time ago.  I felt so guilty that I almost caused that kind of pain and loss for my own family and friends.  I felt guilty that God still has plans for me and I almost left the earth before He finished writing my story. I sent my love to all who loved her via other means.  I pray they know that I loved her and that her loss is heavy on my heart.  

Friends, I love the semicolon project that reminds us all that our story isn't over yet.  I love that brave survivors and courageous supporters proudly display tattoos of a simple ;  There is so much we have all lived out this side of the semicolon and I pray anyone reading this knows there is so much more to the story.  

I urge you to spend time with Jesus daily. Praise His Holy name! Build the Kingdom of God! Ask for the things you need and know God hears you. Forgive people, even when it isn't fair and it's hard.  Remember, God brings our restoration!  It does not come from grudges, hate, telling the world how you were right or how wrong and horrible someone else was.  Restoration is a beautiful thing that is given to you freely when you forgive people.  Forgive people for making human mistakes, just love them like Jesus.  Try to be the best you everyday. When you make a mistake, repent and do better next time.  If you fall again, dust yourself off, repent and do better. Cover your loved ones in prayer and the blood of Jesus.  Stand in the gap for people.....even people you don't like.  

For His is the Kingdom, the power and the glory FOREVER and EVER!  Amen

Love you all.  

Fear, you are not welcome here!

Consider how the wildflowers grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these.

Luke 12:27

Hello friends.  I always get a little nostalgic about this little blog in October.  October of 2016 is when I finally got the nerve to write my story out for literally the world to see.  People I know, people I don't know, people that love me, people that judge me.....literally anyone can stumble across and read this little blog.  You know what, I am thankful for that.  Grateful for the people that love me and for the haters.  It's all good.  You now why?  Because, this blog is all about God's grace, favor and mercy.  All about how God takes things that are not pretty and makes them beautiful.  My story is not a fairytale, but it is a redemption tale.  A tale of hard truths, a few lies, scandal, knock you back to your knees setbacks and most importantly just how good our God is in every season.

How is it already October?  I can hardly believe we are in the final quarter of 2019!  This year has been filled with joy and sadness, prosperity and lack, births and deaths, saying hello and saying goodbye, new normals and old habits, adventure and downtime, health and sickness, faith and fear, victories and regrets.

Through all things-the good, the bad and the ugly, God has always been  right beside me even on the days I didn't realize it.   Some days His presence was tangible and so easy to receive and some days He felt a million miles away, out of reach and completely invisible.  He was there.  He was listening. He was caring.  He was straightening crooked paths.  He was fighting battles I had no idea were even going on.  He was protecting.  He was providing. He was.....

A little over a year ago I thought about ending my life.  Not only did I think about it, I had a plan.  A plan that probably would have worked.  A plan that seemed so reasonable in the moment.  A plan inspired by the devil and intercepted by God.  In the last year, I have twice (2 more than I every dreamed) thought about ending my life.  Those were the days the enemy's voice was louder than anything else in my world.  He is a liar and manipulative.  He twists the truths and knows your weakness.  I despise him.

There were many days that I saw God's love, faithfulness and the hope He so freely offers. Joyous days brought much relief to a mind and heart completely overcome with stress, anxiety and true deep sadness.  God always speaks life and never forsakes. He loves without abandon and will leave the 99 to chase after you, the 1.  He is strength in our weakness.  I love Him.

This morning I had an appointment with my probation officer.

My appointment is set for 7:30, but I arrive at 6:45, not because I am punctual, but  because my last appointment ended with words that shook me to my core.  I hike up the steep stairs to the probation office and walk over to the pay window.  As I am making my payment, I notice a guy in uniform standing in front of the sign in desk.  This is new, I've never seen anyone in uniform here before.  I check in and I am told I can go to the 2nd floor and wait for my officer.  As I climb the stairs my eyes are cast down noticing the little non-slip strips on each step need to be cleaned. I count the steps as I ascend. One, two *my that step is dirty*, three, four *seriously, why are these steps so filthy*, five, six, seven, eight *I am certain someone could do community service here and clean these steps* then  I reach the second floor and round the corner to wait on the church pew benches for my turn.  I notice the room is full of uniformed officers, lots of them.  What the heck?  My tummy tightens and my heartbeat quickens.  Deep down, I know they are there for me.  After all, my last visit 30 days before ended with words that were not at all what I wanted to hear.  I have been consumed with fear for the last 43,200 minutes dreading coming to the probation office today.  I have not mentioned these fears to anyone.  I just hold them in and pray.  My family has enough to worry about.  I did briefly mention in a group text to my family what I was told at the last visit, but haven't said another word about it.  I am sitting on the pew looking up at the screen with my name and my officer's name flashing my arrival and appointment times.  My mind is whirling and I just want all this to be over!  My officer comes to the edge of his office doorway, leans his head out and calls my name.  I look at him, I can see in his eyes this is not going to be a good day!  He motions for me to come to his office. As soon as I am on my feet all of the uniformed officers file in behind and around me and somewhat crowd me making me move in the direction of the office. I finally approach the door and the sinister Joker poster hanging on the wall that always catches me just a little of guard is laughing at me.  Seriously, I can hear the laughs coming from the oversized paper with Heath Ledger's dark and demented painted face!  As soon as I can gather my thoughts and silence the laughing an officer steps out from behind the door.  He is towering over me and without any words swiftly shackles my wrists.  I am whisked to the elevator and taken away with no chance to call my family or yell for help.  No words are spoken to me and I speak no words to anyone else.  This is it, but how it happened I still can't make sense of.  Why this happened, no idea.

That is the scenario that played over and over in my head day after day.  I dreamed of these horrible things.  Dreams so real that I believed them.  Dreams that robbed me of sleep.  Dreams that overwhelmed me.  Dreams that I allowed to create unrealistic fear in me.

That's all they were.....dreams and fear planted from an enemy.  

In reality, I did have an appointment with my probation officer.  In reality, he is such a kind man and frankly I usually don't mind going and I truly enjoy talking to him. I have had a total of 7 probation officers during this 7 years of probation and I have liked each and everyone of them and believe they have all truly liked me.  Most of our visits are answering the routine questions that have to be asked each time......have you done or been in contact with any drugs.....no, have you been in possession of a firearm......no, have you been arrested since your last visit.....no, and then we just visit.  It doesn't feel invasive in any manner.  Most of our chats are about my grand-babes or cookies.   However, going to that office just drudges up old memories of all that has happened.  I hate that I let this get to me. It stirs emotions that I just simply wish would go away.  Some might say I need freedom from this, but I actually believe I already have that.  I have truly from the bottom of my heart and soul forgiven all involved. I know the truths and the lies of the whole season.  I own the truths and rebuke the lies. I have broken soul ties that were deep and painful to break.  I am free, but there is still a sadness that lingers in the air when I must rehash any of it and even though our visits are light and most often not even about what happened, the fact that I have to go just sucks.

Why do we let ourselves get all tangled up in the lies and affairs of the enemy again and again?  Why can we hear the audible voice of God, see true miracles, receive supernatural provision, fall into the arms of grace and know without a doubt God is real and on our side.... then in an instant let a flaming arrow from the enemy pierce our soul, our very being so deep that we allow ourselves to be engulfed in the flames and despair of an enemy and question the things we knew to be so true just moments before.  I don't know, I wish I did. I do know I am thankful for a God that is sovereign and secure and steadfast and loves us even when we forget that He is and will always be the Great I Am!

So, back to my visit with my probation officer today.  As I said earlier, I don't mind going to see him, however, last month he did tell me some things that scared me. Y'all, I am on the last 10 months of an 8 year probation sentence.  I completed all tasks mandated in my sentencing within the first 5 months, I have never missed a payment for my fees, I have never missed an appointment, until last month for the last 3 years I have only had to report 4 times per year in person and the other months I sent in a simple form.  After my visit last month, I have let fear overcome my nights and bits and pieces of my day.  A few simple words from my officer have sent me into anxiety levels that are uncomfortable, all consuming at moments in the wee hours of the morning.  My tummy hurts, my teeth clench.  W.H.Y????? Why do I allow fear to do this to me.  I know the Great I Am.  I not only know Him, He has done miraculous things for me!  He has rescued me and given me mercy more times than I could ever count.

Last night I told my Community Group my story.  I love sharing my story, so many good things and God winks!  People need to know my story!  God is good!!!  Last night, I slept very little.  I was irrationally  consumed with fear!  I made up scenarios in my head about my visit this morning.  I was convinced the enemy was going to come after me for sharing my story.  I had more faith in my crazy thoughts than I did in my God! The God I had just told a room full of people was always on our side.  The God that has proven to me over and over that He is mighty.  The God I love and loves me so deeply.  The God that has the power to move mountains. The God that created the universe.  The God that is omnipresent.  The God that carries the power of everything in His name alone. I prayed earnestly for peace, for protection, for all the things.  I know God is good and faithful, but I was still so full of fear.  I went to my 7:30 appointment at 6:45 because I was so worried about things.  When I walked into my officer's office he kindly greeted me, asked me all the usual questions, said it was time for my annual drug screen and asked if there was anything I needed from him.  I burst into tears full of joy that none of the crazy scenarios I had created in my mind and had worried about for literally 30 days were just that.....crazy.  He looked at me like I was, well, crazy.  He asked if I was ok.  I said yes and explained to him all the things I had spent so much time worrying about. He told me to breathe and to just keep doing what I am doing. He told me to stop worrying. He reminded me that I just need to send those things to the dead dry places to never prosper.

I felt so much relief after 5 minutes in his office.  5 minutes!  I had spent at least 100 hours of the last 720 hours worrying about nonsense.  Worrying about things that I have no control over.  Things that the lies of the enemy made bigger in my mind than they really are.  Worrying about things that God has already fought battles for.  Worrying for no reason.

Fear, you are not welcome here. Today is a new day and I will do better at remembering God's favor surrounds me.  I will walk in the knowledge that His favor will literally cause people to go out of their way to bless me....even my enemies will bless me. Today, I will put my faith and trust in the Lord and not this world.  Today, I will rejoice.  Today, I will repent for letting fear get the best of me. Today, I will accept the forgiveness He gives me.  Today, I will be a better person.  Tonight.....I will rest.

Clicks, Cakes and Pinky Promises

I have often tried to force a blog post.  I have the desire to write something or I have an idea of something to write about, but it just never works out unless I feel the nudging of God.  Once that happens, it seems as though the words just flow.  It's almost like a download and then my fingers find the right keys to hit and it becomes a story.  Today, I have felt that nudging and it still seems a little jumbled in my head as I have been thinking about this post for a couple of months, but I know today is the day to write.


Not quite a year ago I was sitting in the deli at United, a local supermarket, about to have a meeting with 2 of my employees when my phone rang with Daddy flashing on my screen's caller id.  My heart immediately started to race.  My daddy is really good about texting me every single day, but he rarely calls.  I answered the phone with a catch in my throat and as expected it wasn't just a call to chat.  He was calling to tell me my momma was in a helicopter on her way to Lubbock.  She had suffered a brain bleed which was later diagnosed as a hemorrhagic stroke.  In the months leading up to this event, we had noticed my momma was having a little trouble with her short term memory.  We had thought it could possibly be related to seizure medication she was taking.  However, after the stroke things have gotten progressively worse.  Worse from day 1 post brain bleed, but even in the last couple of months things have drastically taken a turn for the worse.

My momma and daddy have had a deer lease for as many years as I can remember and until this last year they have spent every weekend Friday to Sunday on the lease.  Hunting together, visiting with long-time friends, riding ATVs, cookouts for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the cook tent, relaxing and just enjoying life.  In fact, the term 'deer lease' is so frequently used in their household that when my son-in-law first came into the family he asked one day "Who are the Deerly's and why have I never met them?  They sound so fun!"  We all laughed until we cried and some of laughed until we peed our pants!  

This year hasn't been quite the same, my momma isn't able to go with my daddy most weekends.  While this is sad, it also gives me a chance to spend some quality time with my momma while my daddy and brother-in-law go to the "Deerly's".  In late November my momma came to stay with us for the first time this deer season.  Our plan was for us (me, my sister and our daughters) to take my momma to do a little Christmas shopping for the Great-Grand-Babies.  When it came time for us to load up and go, my momma just wasn't up to it.  She was tired and confused and her body was full of aches and pains.  We decided that momma and I would just hang out and everyone else could still go shopping.

Do you watch FRIENDS?  I do.....a little too much.  Seriously, I watch it every night.  I have watched all the seasons from beginning to end more times than I can count.  ANYWAY.......there is an episode where Phoebe is dating an enthusiastic guy named Parker (Alec Baldwin). Parker has an unrelenting cheery disposition.  Parker is a lot to take, but one of the things I like about this character is he is constantly holding his hands up to his face like he is holding a camera and then pretends to take a picture.  With each picture he says "Click".  He explains that he just wants to remember the moment with a mental picture.

The night my momma and I hung back from shopping we had so much fun.  We were driving down the street and chatting about Christmas lights and such.  We got our giggle boxes turned over when we started singing The 12 Days of Christmas.  When I was younger we heard a woman singing this song.  Most of the song she would sing normal, but when she would sing "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree"  she would really exaggerate her RRRRR's and her TTTHHHH's. I wish so badly I could type how it sounded.  On the first day of CHRRREESTMAS my THRROOO love gave to me a PARRRRRTHREEEGE in a pear THHHRRREEEE.  I guess you can kind of get my drift.  We sang that line over and over and the more we sang the louder and more exaggerated we got.  If you were driving past us that night, I am certain you would have thought we were high!  We were very animated and laughing so much! As I glanced over at my momma I thought I want to remember this for the rest of my life.....CLICK!

Later that night we were sitting on the couch watching A CHRISTMAS PRINCE, eating
Sonic (my momma's absolute favorite treat) and talking.  We got tickled again, about what I cannot remember, but my momma had her head back and the most beautiful smile on her face.  I started to grab my phone to take a picture, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.  Instead.....CLICK.  Even as I type I may not be able to remember what we were laughing about, but clear as day I can see her radiant smile!

These moments are so precious.  The night ended with my momma having a seizure and being scared and confused, so those sweet memories are worth more than anyone will ever know.

A couple of weekends ago, I went to stay with my momma while my daddy went hunting.  They had originally planned on my momma going that weekend, but on Friday she just wasn't able to make it.  Her knees are full of arthritis and were hurting her and she just wasn't up to the trip mentally or physically.  This weekend was also filled with special memories and sad moments.  My momma gets extremely confused and scared and weeps very often.  It breaks my heart.  She had several of these moments that weekend.  When she woke up on Saturday morning she was convinced we had been in a plane wreck and she was so scared and crying so hard.  I showed her that we were both ok and she was relieved, but still thought we had gone down in a plane.  I couldn't convince her that we were sitting in her bedroom.  These moments are not the kind of moments I wish to click.  BUT.....oh I love big buts.....and I cannot lie!  BUT.....we also had some really sweet moments.  One moment started out as a weepy moment of my momma telling me how sad she was that she can't show my daddy how much she appreciates all he does for her.  She said "I can't even make him a cake anymore."  I promptly told her we could make a cake together.  She in turn said "But I can't even stand in the kitchen to do it."  I came back with....."Well, we can make it in the living room."  She was so happy! If I had given her a million dollars I don't think she would have been any happier!  So, I gathered the ingredients and brought them in the living room and we worked on the cake.  She was stirring her little heart out when my daddy walked in the door.  She was so very proud that he saw with his very own eyes that SHE was making HIM a cake.  I hope it was the best cake he has ever tasted!  Sometimes love looks like cake batter in the living room.  CLICK!

This last weekend momma again came to stay with us and it was a hard weekend.  She was sad more often than she was happy.  There were many moments of tears and lots of confusion.  BUT.....we also had moments of clarity and moments of sweet conversation. As we were driving to my daughter's house my momma was telling me how much she hated what was happening to her body and her mind.  How she desperately wished she could be the woman she once was.  How she has always been the caretaker and now it is so hard to let others care for her.  I asked her if she remembered a season when my niece was having a particularly hard time and would get very anxious about going to school. She did remember.  One of the many things I am grateful for is my momma's long term memory is still perfectly in tact.  She remembers all of us and can tell you word for word stories from 50 years ago. Anyway, back to the time my niece was struggling; my momma gave her a bracelet with an angel on it and told her anytime she got anxious or worried or scared just remember the angel on her wrist and that Jesus is with her and is bigger than any of her fears. I told momma I didn't have bracelet to give her, but that we could make a pinky promise that every time she started to feel anxious or sad that she would remember that Jesus is with her and He is bigger than anything!  We decided that each day we are going to choose joy and laughter over sadness and tears.  We will remember our memories of happy days, because thankfully those are in tact!  We will hook our pinkies together and promise to always love each other every time we see each other.  We will virtually pinky promise on the phone when we are miles apart.  As we hooked pinkies together at that red light, once again I thought this is a moment to cherish.  CLICK!

I am happy to report that my momma has successfully remembered our pinky promise.  I ask her every time I talk to her.....do you remember our pinky promise and then she tells me "We will choose to be happy and not sad.  Jesus is always with us."  I do wish I could say that there are no more tears or confusion or sadness, I can't.  BUT.....Jesus loves us and we will choose joy over tears as often as we can.

Friends, remember what love looks like! It's not always hearts and roses and holding hands.  Sometimes love is silly, sometimes it is pinky promises, sometimes it is patience, sometimes it is messy, sometimes love is sonic treats together, sometimes it is cake in the living room and sometimes it is just choosing joy.

iCloud can hold many pictures for us just like the ones of my momma stirring that cake, but sometimes being in the moment without your phone is more important.  CLICK as many mental pictures as you can!  Those pictures will float in our minds and hearts for a lifetime.  Even when we can't remember how to use our phones or what day it is.......somewhere in our memories those moments are still there, still real and still alive.  

Broken Can Be Beautiful

God, pick up the pieces. 

Put me back 

together again. 

YOU ARE MY PRAISE!

~Jeremiah 17:14

Over the summer my oldest daughter, Eden, and her family traveled to Turkey. While in Turkey, they bought family members and other loved ones precious gifts.  Many of these gifts were beautiful carefully handcrafted pieces of pottery.  The day they arrived home, I picked them up from the airport really late at night and once we arrived at their house Eden and Corey couldn't wait to unpack their bags and show me all the wonderful things they had brought back.  I was so impressed with the time and effort they had taken to meticulously wrap and protect their treasures.  They were wrapped in bubble paper and then in shopping bags and then in a layer of clothing and lastly snuggled so carefully into little nooks of their suitcases.  As they were pulling the pieces out one by one and carefully unwrapping them, they would hold them up and show me each piece and talk about where they purchased the item and how they had made specific choices for each person so carefully.  

As Eden pulled the package that was intended for me out of her suitcase, we heard a rattle.  You know, that kind of rattle that tells you the items inside are not in perfect order any longer.  The kind of rattle that sort of makes your heart sink just a little because you know the contents are broken.  The look on her face went from joy and excitement to a little bit of sadness and disappointment as she carefully and slowly unwrapped the piece of pottery.  As expected it was broken into several pieces; some large, some just slithers and some practically dust. Who knows how it got broken.  Was it carless baggage handlers?  Was it turbulence?  Was it not wrapped as tightly as the other pieces?  Was it just one of those things that really has no explanation, the pressure of the current situation was just more than the pottery could withstand? Why did all the other pieces in the same baggage receive no damage? Doesn't seem fair.  Why was that piece singled out?    

Eden quickly offered to give me something she had bought for herself.  There was something in me that just wanted the broken one.  I told her I could glue it back together and it would be fine.  Full disclosure, part of me really just didn't want my daughter to be sad or to give up something that she had chosen for herself.  Part of me really wanted the broken one, I don't know why.....but I did.  I took the broken pieces home with me and just put them on a shelf in my garage thinking someday I would get around to gluing them together.  

Those broken pieces have sat on my shelf for several months and I see them every single time I get in or out of my car.  Sometimes when I see them my heart feels a little sad that my gift is sitting there unusable and other days I think....I really should just glue these pieces back together.  

Last night when I pulled into my garage and saw the broken pieces, I felt God urging me to just sit down and glue the pieces back together.  As I sat down at my table and started gluing, my first instinct was to glue the 2 larger pieces together first and then add the other smaller parts.  What I discovered was that the little pieces didn't fit in the cracks the way they should.  I had to break the 2 large pieces apart again to get the little pieces into place. The pieces broke apart fairly easily because the crack had already been established.  I just put a little pressure on it and they fell apart.  I am certain I could not have broken this little bowl with my bare hands if it had not been previously shattered.  I also realized that if I tried to rush my process it didn't look as nice and it would force other pieces to fall back off.  Basically, I had to start with the small pieces and let them settle and dry before I could move on to making it whole again.  My stubborn personality led me to try to get it all back together in one step more than once.  Inevitably, I had to put it together piece by piece in an order that allowed it to all become a single piece again.  Once I surrendered to the process, most all the pieces went back into place and the bowl looks beautiful.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like it was when my daughter bought it and it definitely has 'scars' and a few missing pieces, but all in all it is back together and serving the purpose it was intended.  It will be proudly displayed in my house in all it's splendor.  

God sure taught me a lot putting that little bowl back together.

The last 5 months have been extremely difficult for me.  Difficult on a lot of levels.  Overwhelming might be a better word to use.  I have had moments....days even where I didn't think I could breathe.  I didn't know how I was going to make it through, I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I was broken.  Broken emotionally.  Broken financially.  Broken spiritually.  Broken physically.  Broken with fear.  Broken with heartache.  Broken with longing.  Broken with sadness.  Broken with worry.  Broken with loneliness.  Just broken into so many pieces.  I broke so easily this time.  I have always been a strong woman. I have considered myself a conqueror, an overcomer.....a you better run from me Satan, because I'm coming for you kind of woman.  A me and God have this kind of woman. Not this time.  This time I crumbled into so many little pieces.  This time was different.  This time on 2 separate occasions the enemy got so deeply in my brokenness that I actually considered just ending it all.  All I wanted to do was be with Jesus.  I didn't want to have to fight.  I didn't want to be sad.  I didn't want.....I just didn't want.  How did I get here? Where did my strength go? That little bowl showed me that I break easier than before, maybe because I have been broken previously and maybe because the new breaking can make room to heal other parts of my life.  

   

In early June I went into work on a Saturday morning just as the sun came up overwhelmed with so many things in my life. I arrived at my desk with a belly full of energy drinks and a pocket full of pills.  This is hard to write.  I have told no one about this day, but God has told me it is necessary.  Necessary for me to own this truth.  Necessary to maybe encourage someone else.  Necessary.  I was going to do the work I needed to do and then just swallow the pills.  I was positive that the combination of energy drinks and pills would just give me a heart attack.  That I and the world around me would just be better off with me in heaven.  I was broken and just felt like there was no putting me back together.  I was tired and worn. Satan was in my head.  As I tried to complete my tasks, my pastor called me to his office.  He told me I looked like I was about to have a breakdown.  He was more right than he knew. I was having what was most likely a breakdown.  His words made me change my mind about the pocket full of pills.  He told me that he wasn't willing to sacrifice anyone's life and that I needed to rest before I do anymore work.  He thought my life was worth it. He had no idea what my thoughts and plans were. He thought the words he was speaking were related to physical exhaustion, physical ailments.......reality he was speaking directly to my mental state and spiritual health.  I know my family thought I was worth it. I know I didn't want them to be sad, but at that moment I seriously  thought they would be ok if I was Jesus (with a clear mind and perspective, I know how wrong and selfish this thought was). Y'all, the enemy is real and manipulative.  Full of lies that at times seem so rational. He wasn't telling me not to love Jesus. He was telling me a twisted truth of how comforting it would be to just fall into Jesus' arms and tangibly feel His embrace.  He was right, one day it will be so awesome to fully embrace Jesus with the full weight of his arms around me.  But he twisted it in the lie that forcing my departure from earth under my own terms was ok.  He has and will always be a liar.  Jesus thought I was worth it. Jesus sent a man to tell me my life was worth it, even if that man had know idea what level of truth he was speaking to me. His words came straight from the lips of Jesus.   I went home with a plan to live and a reminder that I matter.  

In September I was struggling.  The enemy knew it.  He was ready to pounce.  I left myself wide open!  I again let this world overcome me and I once again just wanted to be with Jesus.  This time, I was able to remind myself that God has overcome the world!  So even though the world was trying to overcome me.....Jesus was bigger and Jesus was better.  This time, I told my family my thoughts.  This time I created a team of warriors to pray from that day forward that the enemy will never be able to even whisper those thoughts to me.  This time I cover myself and my family in prayer every single day that the stinking devil cannot talk to any of us that way.  

For transparency purposes, I will tell you that I am still broken.  I am still sad and worry at times.  I still have a lot of burdens.  I still cry more often than I would like to admit.  But God, my family and friends...and that little bowl are reminding me that things can be put back together.  It takes time, it takes patience, it takes the right order.  

I have an amazing family and support system.  A family that shows me every single day how much they love me.  I love my family with all my heart and vow that I will never ever have to tell them I am having those kinds of thoughts again.  I maybe broken, but they hold me together.  They are there for me on every single level of brokenness I described.  I pray I do the same for them.  We are a team and we will not let this world become more than we can handle......because every single day we will remind ourselves and each other that we fight from victory and not for it.  

I was telling a friend just yesterday that I would do battle for her.  Anyway, anytime.  She needs it.  She is broken too.  In a very different way she is broken.  But God.....but friends......but faith.  She is getting there one day at a time!  When I was talking to her I was so easily prepared to stand in the gap for her on the days she just couldn't do it for herself.  I meant every word.  Because I know the feeling of knowing that there is a God in heaven, but still having trouble just breathing because this world doesn't make sense.  I know the truth of fear and sadness that is so strong it overwhelms you and just being too tired to utter another prayer.  

Friends, pray for your friends.  Pray for your enemies.  Pray for your loved ones.  Pray for yourself.

God showed me with that little bowl that He was putting my broken pieces back together (again). That things may look a little different and that some of the pieces are just not a part of my whole anymore (and that's ok). But all in all I am still a masterpiece.  I am worth it.  I will feel whole again.  He can and will still use me.  I am usable.  I will never be so broken he can't put my pieces back together.  God is my Praise.  My strength.  My way to restoration.

He Thinks I Am Radiant

Those who look to Him are radiant; 

their faces are never covered with shame.

~Psalm 34:5

She's

Tough

Righteous

Empowered

Nurtured

Grateful

Transformed

His

I am, we are righteous!

right·eous

ˈrīCHəs/

adjective

adjective: righteous

1.  acting in accord with divine or moral law :free from guilt or shame or sin


Certainly, I am not (we are not) righteous on my (our) own. But thank God Almighty, we are righteous through the blood of Jesus Christ!  I am not free from guilt or sin, but because He died for me, my debt is paid and I am righteous,  Doesn't make sense does it?  Nope, it doesn't, but it is fact and I gratefully receive His grace!

Our worship team, Pursue Worship, has recently released an album.  I absolutely love all the songs on this album.  It has probably been since 1987 that I have popped a CD in and listened to it on repeat for weeks without listening to anything else.  I just can't get enough.  My most favorite song on this album is entitled THE CROSS IS ENOUGH. I cannot listen to this song without weeping!  I don't care if I heard it an hour ago and I hear it again, the tears just stream.  Our sweet, sweet Jesus paid it all for us on that cross.  Can you wrap your brain around that?  I literally cannot!  I love it, I believe, I receive it, I share it; but it is just too overwhelming for me to rationalize how or why He would do this for me-for us.....but He did.....and....He doesn't regret it!

Let me just share a line or two (or more...it's just so good) of the lyrics:

The cross is enough

I've been washed by Your blood

My past has been healed

My futures is sealed

The cross is enough

My debt has been paid

Lord, I am what You say

I'm whiter than snow

and purer than gold

The cross is enough

Every sin, every stain

there's no exceptions

to Your never ending grace

You don't regret, the price You paid

You called me "worthy"

long before I called You "King"

These lyrics are powerful and full of truth. The truth of a God who loved us so much that He sent His only Son to save the world.  To save us, even before we ever acknowledged Him as Savior.

I pray you already know Jesus, but if you are reading this and you do not, PLEASE message me and I will be honored to share His story with you!  I will take you by the hand and lead you to throne of the King, where you too can find peace, forgiveness, righteousness.

As I sat at my dining room table one night trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me about strength, He led me to verse after verse about righteousness. So, I googled how many verses in the bible talk about righteousness.  I found 88!  I flipped through my bible and was surprised to find that I had over 30 of these verses highlighted from various sermons and bible studies.  He must really want us to know that the cross really was enough.  He died to set us free, to bring salvation, to give us grace and mercy, to make us righteous in the eyes of God.

If you are thinking, there is no way I can be forgiven for what I have done or that you have too much baggage; stop it!  Stop it now!  You are worthy, you can be forgiven, you are enough, you can be righteous.

If you still can't believe that our God redeems and restores, I challenge you to read the stories of these  women in the lineage of Christ: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary.  There are so many articles on the internet about these women and of course their stories can all be found in the bible, I don't want to rewrite what has already been outlined so beautifully.   I will tell you that their stories include prostitution, adultery, shame, lies and so much more.  However, God transformed each and everyone of these ladies.  He gave them hope, He made them new, He redeemed them and they are righteous women in the family tree of Jesus Christ.

Ok, I have an idea!  I want to share the Pursue Worship album with you.  It will speak to your soul.  I promise.

Subscribe (follow) to this blog and comment with your greatest strength, then next Wednesday (November 1, 2017) I will randomly select 5 people to give the Pursue Worship album, Let It Rise.

I look forward to hearing from you!  

Until next time,,,,,,,

MORE THAN WE CAN IMAGINE

'Ask and it will be given to you; seek

and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.'

~Matthew 7:7

The entire month of October was a month of asking God for many things!  Asking for my closest friends, my coworkers and myself.  We were not asking to be greedy or to be selfish.  We were not begging.  We were asking because God instructs us to ask, to petition Him for the things we need and even the things we want.  That's one of the gazillion things I love about God. He is all knowing, the designer of all things, the giver of life; yet He wants us to come to Him and ask for even the simplest things in life.  

For several years now, God has been nudging me to write. As I told you in my first post, I didn't want to do it.  I was scared, embarrassed, didn't think I had time or the skills required and so on, but I knew it was something He wanted me to do.  I think it is so funny how much I love and trust Him, yet I was still so scared to do something He was asking me to do.  Beginning October 1st I prayed that God would give me the courage I needed to actually sit down and do what He was asking me to do. On October 18th I was driving home from work and decided that I would finally just do it.  It was sort of odd,  I expected this big wave of confidence to come over me or the Holy Spirit to be like a cheerleader chanting in my ear saying "You can do it!  Go Lisa Go!" or something similar.  Nothing magical or spectacular happened, I just simply decided it was time and I was going to do it.  God doesn't have to put on a big show to answer your prayers, He just answers them.

My courage to sit down and write bits and pieces of my story reminds me of another time in my life when I found courage.  This time, I am certain it was an answer to prayers my parents had said for me.  I was an extremely shy child. Painfully shy.  From as far back as I can remember until I was in 7th grade, I always felt less than.  I felt like I wasn't as smart as the other kids, I felt ugly, I felt like I would be made fun of if I talked to someone. It was horrible.  I honestly don't know where these thoughts came from (other than satan himself).  As far as I remember no one had ever spoken those words to or over me.  It all came from my own mind.

I was standing on the risers in choir one day and I just decided I was not going to be shy anymore.  I was tired of it.  Nothing out of the ordinary happened that day, nothing special.  I just decided it was time to lay down my shyness and pick up my true personality.  That night I went home and told my mom I wanted some new clothes and that I was no longer going to be shy.  Her jaw dropped to the ground.  Retrospectively, I wonder if my request for new clothing was a burden to them? My mother put down her newspaper and took me shopping immediately.  We walked into a little boutique and I walked out with a whole new wardrobe.  Several days later, a bag full of hand me down clothing showed up on my bed.  The bag held so many Gloria Vandebilt and Sasson treasures, I simply couldn't believe it! Don't get me wrong, clothes didn't change who I was.However, the clothes I wore before were clothes that were more fitted to an older woman than to a tween.  I chose those clothes to hide behind.  Part of me becoming me was allowing myself to fit in with the rest of the girls my age. God did so much in my life in just a few seconds on the risers in 7th grade choir.  From that moment on, I was no longer shy.  I have since found unimaginable courage in so many areas of my life. I have found confidence in my God given talents and abilities.  I have discovered that I am beautiful inside and out, because He made me.  I have found my voice and look people in the eyes.   I have spoken at conferences in rooms that were filled with over 8000 faces looking back at me and over 8000 sets of ears listening to me. I have found the courage to tell anyone willing to read my blog, the truth about how amazing my God is!

It gives me chills when I think about how much God can do without having to show off.  Just a gentle outpouring of courage can change everything in an instant. I am grateful for these quiet answers to prayer.

This month of asking also produced many gifts from our God that were a little more public and grand.  I have a friend that has been praying for a job for over 8 months and He went back to work the week after Thanksgiving. During the 8 months of prayer this friend and his wife were diligent in their prayers, their tithes, their offerings and standing on God's promises.  Oh, there were days of discouragement, doubt, disappointment, but deep down they never lost their faith and hope in our true provider.  During this time without a job, provision came in so many wonderful ways. God is faithful all the time.  Sometimes, it is just hard to see when you are in the midst of a storm.  I love that this job offer came at the end of a month of intentionally asking for specific things, standing on the promises in Ephesians 3:20, having friends pray specifically for your requests and just in God's perfect timing.

I have another couple in my circle of friends that have been praying for a baby for so very long. God spoke to them at the beginning of 2016 and promised them a child this year.  October is very late in the year to be expecting a baby by year end, when there is no baby on the horizon.  In true and perfect confirmation of the promises that He can do MORE than we can ASK or IMAGINE, He blessed this family with a beautiful baby girl on October 16th.  It was perfect timing.  It was beautiful and it was more than any of us could have imagined. 

As a reminder, here were my big asks:

• Have the courage to write the book God has been nudging me to do for the last couple of years - as explained above and evidenced by this blog, God answered this so quietly, yet so awesomely.
• I asked for the bakery to bring in a certain dollar amount each day-for several days in October, November and now December this specific dollar amount was reached or exceeded, and I am looking forward to the day it will be met every single day without fail.  I know it is coming, I know I have to work for it and I know I have to keep tithing and blessing others, but it is coming!  
• For complete and total supernatural healing of my mother's seizures-still believing this one is coming!  I think this will be a quiet answer as well, one day we will just say....."Oh my goodness!  It has been 2 months since mom has had a seizure!"....and then they will never return.
• To lose weight-I am thrilled to report that I have lost 17 pounds in the last 6 weeks and I have full expectations that I will meet my goal!  I have been needing to lose weight for years, but this time I am actually seeing results.
• And one more that is just too personal to put on this little blog-still praying about this one, but I have had so many God winks lately, that I fully believe God is going to blow my mind on this one.  When He does, I will share all the details with you.

I just can't say it enough.......God is so good.

ASK BIG......THANK BIG

 Now to Him who is able to do far

more abundantly than all that we

ask or think according to the power at 

work within us, to Him be glory in the church

and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations

forever and ever. Amen ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

I love Thanksgiving!  It is a season to reflect and truly give thanks.  It kicks off the holidays and ushers us into the Christmas season. For the last several years, I have reflected on the unexpected phone call that came just days before Thanksgiving in 2011 and the journey that followed.  I am reminded that if it had not been for my relationship with Jesus this season could be so different.  I am thankful for every single step of this journey.  I am thankful that Jesus and I walked hand and hand through the mess and came out on the other side better, stronger, happier and blessed beyond anything I could have imagined!

Baked Bliss is buzzing this week with Thanksgiving orders.  I absolutely love working the Wednesday before Thanksgiving at the bakery.  There is much to do and on any other day this might seem overwhelming. but for some reason on this day the extra orders and chaos are just different.  This day more than any other day of the year is full of joy, laughter, gratitude and a lot of hard work.  I am thankful for this little bakery and I am thankful for all the blessings I have received this year.

In late September of this year, our Executive Pastor challenged our staff to make October a month of big asking!  Asking God for things that may seem impossible, that might seem too big or too out of reach.  He gave us several scriptures that teach us about asking: He suggested we make a list of our asks and consistently with thanksgiving and humility petition God for these things.

• John 4:10 "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you 'Give me a drink', you would have asked him, and he would have given you the water."
• James 4:2-3  "You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly. to spend it on your passions."
• Mark 11:24 "Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
• Matthew 7:7-11 "Ask and it will be given to you;seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though wou are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!'
• John 14:12-14 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may  be glorified in the Son.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
• Philippians 4:6-8  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcend all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about those things.

The verse that stuck out to me and that I have clung to over these last several weeks is

• Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  

This challenge was so exciting to me.  I have asked big and crazy things of God in the past and He has definitely done abundantly more than I could have ever imagined.  Challenge accepted.

 That night when I got home and into my comfy clothes I didn't turn on my TV or have any dinner.  I read all of the verses about asking and thought about what I wanted to ask for.  Not to be selfish or to ask for the sake of asking, but to ask because my Heavenly Father loves me so much that He wants me to bring my asks to Him.  I was surprised at how quickly I came up with my list.  They were all things that I have prayed about previously, but this time it just felt different.

The next evening, Tuesday, I had bible study with some of the most amazing women in my life.  I love this group.  We call ourselves the LEAP girls, Laugh Eat And Pray girls.This group started long before I became a member, but I have been a part of this group for almost 4 years now and treasure every single time we meet.  We have done countless bible studies together, celebrated together, cried together and most importantly prayed together.  I pray each of you reading this has a group of friends that will stand with you in prayer.  I mean honestly, sincerely, earnestly, persistently PRAY with and for you.  I told the LEAP girls about the challenge my boss had presented to the staff and they jumped on board.  We have a prayer book that we pass around each time we meet.  We all agreed that we would come up with a list of 3-5 big asks and by the next week we would all be brave and put these asks in the book, no matter how big or personal they were.

One of the girls in LEAP is the manager at Baked Bliss and the next day she took this challenge to our staff at the bakery.

The first Wednesday of each month our church has a Deeper service.  It is a night of worship, baptism and communion.  It is one of my favorite nights of each month.  Our worship is alive and truly ushers all in attendance into the presence of God,.  Baptism is always an exciting thing and I absolutely love watching people come up out of the water and rejoice!  Makes my soul sing!  Communion is just so personal and I weep every time I take communion.  Before service our Ministering Elders meet for prayer.  During this session the leader said that he had this overwhelming sense that we should be asking for BIG things during this season.  What a confirmation!

I absolutely love the ripple effects this thought of asking has had!  I love that so many of us are not only asking for ourselves, but standing firmly in agreement with our friends, co-worker and loved ones in their asks as well.

My asks were as follows:

• Have the courage to write the book God has been nudging me to do for the last couple of years.
• I asked for the bakery to bring in a certain dollar amount each day.
• For complete and total supernatural healing of my mother's seizures.
• To lose weight.
• And one more that is just too personal to put on this little blog.  

I set my alarm for 3:20 (standing on Ephesians 3:20) each afternoon to remind me to stop and ask. I pray off and on all throughout the day.  When I need help finding something, I pray.  When I am reminded of someone that I have promised to pray for, I pray.  When I am thankful and joyful, I pray.  When I need anything at all, I pray.  When I see any kind of emergency vehicle, I pray.  Sometimes these prayers are short and take only a few seconds and sometimes they take several minutes.  When my alarm goes off at 3:20 my prayers start with thanks and then I ask.  I ask for my requests and for all the requests that I have been made aware of others.  My list currently has about 47 asks from myself and others.  I ask each day at 3:20 for all 47.  I don't only ask, but I thank God for the answers and miracles He is going to bring.

I can't wait to share with you in my next post of all the answers that have come.  They are big and they are mighty!

Ask
Believe
Wait
Recieve
Rejoice
Shout of His goodness!