PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,

whenever you face trials of many kinds 

~James 1:2

 As I am nearing the end of my time at camp, I reflect on everything that has happened over the last year and a half.  So many terrifying, horrible, devastating, life altering things have happened; however, just as many wonderful, miraculous, glorious, life changing things have happened.  Sure, I have lost jobs, a husband, all the money I had to my name, I had been arrested and sent to camp and so on.  I also have met amazing women, had God audibly speak to me, had God supernaturally move a wash rag at my request and on and on and on.

I haven't yet told you about the miracle of pennies.

When I was a young girl my maternal grandfather was very ill and spent a lot of time at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.  One day when my momma, my sister and I were walking in, my momma found a penny.  She told us girls with great excitement "Oh look, it's a penny!"  We looked at her like she was a bit crazy, even at a young age we knew that pennies held little monetary value.  She went on to explain "Whenever I find a penny, I always remember that it says In God We Trust.  This is like a little wink from heaven.  It makes me remember to trust God in all things.  It reminds me that He is right here with us, no matter what is going on."  She picked the penny up and tucked it in her shoe.  That conversation has stuck with me all these years.  I can picture exactly where we were and the shoes she tucked the penny into.  I have found lots of pennies over the years and the majority of the time I find them in times when I need a wink from heaven, a gentle reminder that God is near and I should trust Him.  My momma tucked hers into her shoe, but I always tuck mine in my bra, right close to my heart.

Throughout the 548 days from that horrible, rotten, no good day in February 2011 to the sweet day in September 2012 when I was released from camp I found exactly 594 pennies. That is more than a penny a day (just in case you couldn't do the math on your own)  How do I know how many I found you might wonder?  Well, it is because on the that dreadful day in February, I found 2 pennies and I knew they were winks from God and I started dropping each penny found in a jar.

On the day in February, I found a penny in the parking lot as I was dragging my broken heart and all my personal belongings from my office to the car.  I then found another penny when I was walking into my best friends house.  Shortly after that day, I was going to Boulder to visit my daughter for the weekend.  It was a 3 hour drive through the mountains and I had lots of time in the car with just me and God.  We talked almost the whole way there.  I was asking Him to give me direction on whether or not to move back to Texas, I was asking for help in finding a job, thanking Him for letting me survive the last week or so, thanking Him for my support system, and b.e.g.g.i.n.g. Him to help me put my life back together.  Just as I had finished a rather long begging session, a penny rolled right out of my air conditioner vent and smack into my cup of tea in the cup holder.   It was so crazy!  The rest of the trip was spent singing His praises at the top of my lungs!  That day I started listening to a Christian radio station.  For the last 5 1/2 years, I almost only listen to Christian music of some form or another.  I listen to other music intermittently, but I always go back to worship music. The day on the sky bridge when I got the call from the detective, I found a penny in the elevator.  Every single time I went to court, I found a penny.  I found pennies everywhere I went. I even found a penny at camp.  I am certain a deputy must have dropped it. I found this on the day I was pulled out of my cell to be informed that my youngest daughter was in the emergency room with internal bleeding.  As a momma, it doesn't matter how old your children are, when something is wrong with them you are supposed to be there for them.  It was devastating and I was grieving.  I was quietly praying in the classroom and with my head still bowed I opened my eyes.  There it was, a shiny penny just under the book shelf.  Praise God my daughter was fine, but it was tragic to be so far away and unable to talk to her for several more hours. That penny was just a subtle reminder that God was near and I needed to trust Him.  I am a rule follower, but I broke a no contraband rule and carried that penny next to my heart the rest of the time I was there.

God winks of all sorts saw me through my 30 days at camp.

I forgot to tell you in my sentencing day post that I was also sentenced to 500 hours of community service.  That was a lot of hours!  On my first visit to the probation office in October I was sent to the community service desk. A desk in the basement surrounded by plants.  The woman manning the desk was soft spoken and non-judgmental. I was handed a pretty large stack of xeroxed copies of places I could go and do community service.  I read through all of them.  I had them spread out from one end of my dining room table to the other.  I was praying about where I should go.  I wanted a place where I felt safe.  A place where not only could I get my hours done, but I could also make a difference. I left all of these options on the dining room table as it was overwhelming to choose.  I prayed about it and the next morning when I went to the table to read them all again, someone had dropped a Wal-Mart receipt, a dollar bill, 2 dimes and 3 pennies on the table.  All 3 pennies were sitting on the brochure for the Lubbock Dream Center and all the other items were on another brochure.  Well, that made my decision easy!  The Dream Center it was!

With a great deal of embarrassment, I called the Dream Center and explained that I had 500 hours of community service to do and I would like to do it with them.  The girl that answered the phone was astonished at the number of hours I had to do, but cheerfully told me that I could come in anytime between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. Monday - Thursday and they would put me to work.

The next morning I was there just a few minutes before 10:00 a.m. and I was welcomed by the campus pastor and the compassion ministry coordinator.  They were having a big event the next day and I was assigned to cleaning toilets, setting up tables, hanging flags from various countries around the sanctuary that subbed as an event room and prepping things in the kitchen for the next day.  During the course of the day it was mentioned that they didn't know exactly what they were going to do for dessert.  They had several volunteers lined up to fix and serve the actual meal, but no idea what they were going to do for dessert.  The Holy Spirit promptly reminded me that God had shown me that I was going to have a bakery.  I spoke up and said that my girls and I had an in home bakery and we would be happy to bake desserts for them.  I wouldn't charge them if they would count my work time towards my community service hours.  It was a win-win for all of us.  This was the first order for Baked Bliss. The chocolate cakes we made that day were a hit and that entire day I worked the event.  I got to sit in as the event was going on.  It was a luncheon about missions.  That explains the flags I hung the day before.  I was in such awe of the speakers.  They told stories of giving up so much to serve God throughout the nations.  I quickly realized my little time away from my family at camp sharing about Jesus while I was there, was nothing in comparison to the things these people were doing.  On this day, my heart grew for the nations and the missionaries that serve the nations. For the first time in my life I really understood what being a missionary was about.  The sacrifices, the hardships, the glory, the honor.  All of it.  

I went to the Dream Center the next morning just as the doors were opened and I was again given toilet cleaning duties and additional chores in the clothing closet, then the food pantry.  The people of the Dream Center are kind and encouraging.  I am grateful this is where I chose.  Thank you God for pointing me to the Dream Center.

After a couple of weeks working from 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Monday through Thursday I have gotten to know the staff and they have gotten to know a little about me and my story.  The Compassion Ministry Coordinator has sat with me during lunch for several days.  She and I have talked about my previous career.  She asks if I have any experience with spreadsheets and various other administrative things.  I tell her yes, I do! The next day she relieves me of my toilet cleaning duties and gives me tasks in her office.

I am treating my community service as a job.  My parents and I have discussed the enormous amount of hours I need to complete and they have given me the opportunity to focus on those hours, do baking when I can and they will help me with my bills.  Once my community service hours are done, then I can look for a job.

From October to February, I work all day Monday - Thursday every single week. In November there is a Turkey Giveaway at the Dream Center.  There is a television station that is going to run a story about the Dream Center and the giveaway and they will be filming from 5:00 a.m. - 7:30 a.m.  My supervisor at the DC (Dream Center) asks if she could purchase some cinnamon rolls from my little home bakery.  Of course I said yes.  My cinnamon rolls are huge and have a secret ingredient of mashed potatoes.  They always receive rave reviews.  I am delighted to do this for the DC and to make a little extra money.  We offer the reporter a cinnamon roll during a break and she loves them.  In the next segment she highlights the cinnamon rolls and gives Baked Bliss a shout out.  The next week my Facebook is flooded with requests for treats for Thanksgiving.  It was amazing!  On this same morning I meet the fundraising coordinator for the DC.  She and I visit and she tells me about a project called Resurrection Funky Junk that raises money for the DC.  She explains that they have a warehouse where they repurpose furniture, jewelry, clothing and all sorts of things.  She invites me to help.  I am excited and jump at the opportunity.

My evenings are filled with painting at this warehouse.  I become good friends with the ladies that come to paint each night.  These ladies have since become my dear friends. In fact we meet each week for bible study, we travel together, we do life together.  I discover that Resurrection Funky Junk also has vendors that sell their goods at an annual event.  I am invited to sell cookies at the event.  Once again, my business is given a little boost.

My little bakery is doing okay, but it is not enough to pay all my bills.  My parents are having to supplement my income each and every month.  I set a date in my mind where I am not going to ask them for any more money.  I don't have a job and I still have a bit of community service hours to finish, but I am trusting in the Lord to provide.  It is the week before my 'I'm not asking again' deadline and I am significantly short on funds to cover all of my bills.  I had bills that I created when I was making a very large salary and they didn't just go away because I no longer had that job.  I am at the warehouse painting and I ask the ladies to pray for provision.  My dear friend suggests that I create a cookie card.  This card will be the cost of 10 dozen cookies, but the buyer will actually receive 12 dozen cookies.  It is a brilliant idea.  I have 1 week to sell enough of these cards to cover my expenses and not have to ask my parents for money.  We put the word out.  Within 4 days, I have sold enough cards to not only cover my current month's expenses, but to cover the following month as well.  I am still in awe of God's provisions.

February rolls around and I have completed my 500 hours.  The DC had become like a second home to me and I was truly going to miss being there each day.  On my very last day, my supervisor asks me if I would be interested in working for the DC part time.  My heart skipped at least 10 beats! Yes! Yes! I would be honored!  The job will be for 20 hours per week and will pay just over minimum wage.  I am ecstatic!  I have never been so happy to be offered a job.  God was sending pennies from heaven in the form of a job and a paycheck!

I work from February to July at the DC.  I am putting in my 20 hours, volunteering additional hours and baking as much as possible.  It is enough to cover my bills.  It is not giving me the lifestyle I had previously, but it is giving me freedom and integrity.

The DC is owned by a local church.  In July I am told of a full time job opening at the church.  It is in the finance department.  God has given me such a gift when it comes to accounting.  I love working with numbers.  I don't see any way possible that I could ever get this job considering everything that had happened in my life.  My supervisor encourages me to go for it.  She speaks to the leadership at the church and tells them a bit of my story.  I am asked to come in for an interview and to elaborate on exactly what had happened.  I am a mess.  I am so nervous.  At this point, it was still difficult to tell my story.  There was so much shame attached to it.  So much failure and loss.  I nervously sat on the big couch in the Executive Pastor's office as he and 4 others asked me questions about my skills and about my past.  I told them everything.  I cried a lot.  First time I had ever cried in a job interview.  Surely, that was not a good thing to do.  They were all attentive and compassionate.  They knew of God's mercy, grace and restoration and even though the enemy had filled me with shame and anxiety, they comforted me and encouraged me.  They asked for bits and pieces of the discovery, they called my ex-boss and spoke to him about every detail he had read, heard, seen during my ordeal. Verified that I had been open and honest with him about my legal woes.  Verified my story on why I no longer had a job there.  It took several weeks for a decision to be made.  There were others who needed to know my story and give their opinions.  Prayers needed to be said and decernment was needed.  Glory be to God from whom all blessings flow!  i got the job.  What a blessing!

Pennies are tangible God winks.
Praise God for divine appointments!
God is without a doubt our provider!