Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God's will is, His good, pleasing
and perfect will.
~Romans 12:2
All of this mess might have been the #1 news story of 2011 as highlighted on December 31st by that snowy small town newspaper, but all of this was a very private matter in Lubbock, TX. With God's never ending grace, we were able to keep all of this chatter out of the news and only my family and a few select others even knew my entire world was literally being shaken to it's core.
In the early spring my job was quickly evolving and this kept me very busy. I truly think God orchestrated this to keep my mind busy. There was a massive reorganization across the entire hospital system from ancillary departments, to administration to the revenue cycle. I was currently the manager over patient access, which is a part of the revenue cycle. Our corporate offices were in California and I was spending 1-3 weeks per month there working on policies, staffing structure, key indicators, etc.; I am busy.
In between trips to California, I am making trips to Colorado every 4-6 weeks. My daddy and I are driving 14 hours there and 14 hours back for 20 minutes in the courtroom to have my case continued. Again, every trip I make sparks a new article in the paper about me and my case. Every time they write about all of the charges and never mention 4 of the charges have been dropped.
During this same season, my youngest daughter gets engaged and my oldest daughter and her husband have purchased their first home and are starting to talk about babies. There is so much joy in my life, that truly I find it difficult to have pity parties. My faith and trust are at an all time high. It doesn't seem logical, but in all honesty, my life is as good as ever. Joy, happiness, gratitude and peace are my reality.
I won't lie, at night when I lay down for sleep I struggle with the not so happy parts of my life. I reach out to my sweet Father in heaven and every single time He shows up and He is there to calm my nerves, reassure me that He has good plans for me and He always - always reminds me to be still.
One day I googled myself, I don't know what made me think this would be a good idea (it was not), I was shocked at what I found. It was hurtful and ugly. I found I was in various magazines, I had been a work study for a class at some university. There were on going web conversations about me, not from people I knew or that knew me, just people that had two cents they wanted to throw out into the universe about something they really didn't know anything about. All of these things based off of words written from a single reporter that took only bits and pieces of the juicy parts of the arrest affidavit. A reporter that never went back and updated information as it came out in the case. A reporter that sat in the courtroom each time I went and heard truths of my case and never found that information exciting enough for his article.
It was decision time, I had been given a plea offer from the DA that I could accept or I could go to trial. I dug my heels in hard and almost yelled at my attorney, "Why in the world would I take a plea deal on something I didn't do?" My attorney's response was full of logic and good explanation. He explained that at this point the trial was going to be a he said/she said extravaganza. Me against #1 stepson and consultant #3. Very little real evidence from either side. The only tangible piece of evidence was those 2 pieces of paper I had signed. There was no denying I signed the papers. I could explain my side of the story. I could tell them my thought pattern. I could show where there were holes in their story. My attorney explained that I had a 50/50 chance of winning. He handed me a piece of paper with an estimate of his fees. He reminded me what a popular story this had been. He reinforced the seriousness of the prison sentence that could possibly be attached should I lose. All of this was so overwhelming! How do you stand up in a courtroom where truth is supposed to be important and admit to something you didn't do? How is this fair? I had to think and pray about this. The DA gave me exactly 1 week to make a decision.
I return home and I explain everything to my family. We pray. No one has a good feeling either way.
I speak to my boss and explain my options. He relays this information to that small little group of people that hold my longevity at this hospital in their hands. I felt like I was having a little mini trial right there at the hospital. People probing and asking questions, me providing discovery and evidence, closed door meetings that sometimes took hours. The anxiety as I awaited an answer was all consuming. All I could do was pray. Finally, my boss comes back with the verdict.They have agreed that if I take the plea agreement my job is secure. They have seen all the evidence against and for me. They believe me! Here is the weird thing, they say if it goes to trial and becomes public knowledge in Lubbock, they cannot promise my job will be safe. They have seen the truth and everything related to my case and believe I am telling the truth!
I call a family meeting to discuss this news from the hospital. My momma is the first to speak up. "I think God is telling us to take the deal." Me, "I know, right? I can't fathom me taking the chance of losing everything! I have worked so hard over the last 23 years to get to where I am. I have a group of people that are willing to stand by me and let me keep my job! This is just simply a God thing." I am saying these things out loud and in the very back of my mind I am thinking.......there is is no way I can be a felon! This makes no sense at all! Then I think, $150,000 for a 50/50 gamble! Where am I going to get $150,000? I can't go to prison! My head is spinning, but my heart is calm. When I remember to be still, I can think and I can hear the Holy Spirit. I do feel like the plea is my best option. Human nature kicks in......but I didn't do it! I can't! This is not right? Why haven't I been vindicated? Holy Spirit taps me on the shoulder, um Lisa, you're doing it again. Oh yes, Be Still....Be Still......just BE STILL.
I once again vow to my Savior, I trust You and I will take You with me through whatever I have to walk through. Hand in hand we can do this.
I call my attorney and tell him I want to take the deal. He replies, "Smart girl. Good decision. I would have fought for you, but this was the right decision." I talk to the legal aid to set up appointments and court appearance. She echos my attorneys thoughts, "Wise move." I am ready to defend myself to her, "But I didn't do...." She interrupts me, "Before you start in on me about you not doing it, hear my heart. I know, yes I know, you did not do this. I also know how the world thinks and how the world works. Not everyone listens to God the way you do. Sometimes the enemy screams louder. Sometimes people make bad decisions based on a few hours of testimony. There are innocent people sitting in prison and bad, horrible people walking around free." I knew from these comments she has been praying for me. I had no idea, I had just thought she was the legal aid doing as her boss had asked. Filing things with the courts, reminding me to be here or there. Sure, we chatted from time to time, but I had no idea she actually cared.
I go to court and take the plea. I sign the papers and I am given instructions on a pre-sentencing screening. I am to come back in August for sentencing. I know for certain that I will not see any prison time. It was really fairly painless. Of course the newspaper reporter is on hand to announce to anyone that will listen........that I have plead guilty.
It is now August and things are moving along with the reorganization at the hospital. We are actually having every single employee reapply for their jobs. This is a huge undertaking. I too have to reapply for my job. I actually get the nerve to apply for a job that is at a director level. What have I got to lose? I actually get the job and a nice healthy raise to go along with it.
Myself and other revenue cycle directors along with HR representatives spend hours and hours interviewing hundreds of employees. Decisions are made, job offers are made. Some hard decisions were also made and some employees are offered different positions and others are offered severance packages. My heart feels a little guilty that my job was not only spared, but I actually got an amazing promotion. I am grateful for God's favor regarding my own employment. This was a very humbling time for me.
During this month I have been asked to gather character letters to present to the court. I receive several letters from family and friends. I am so touched by the kind words I read from everyone. I cry ever time I read them. My family was so supportive and showed such unconditional love throughout this whole ordeal. The letter from my co-worker whom I have traveled with, laughed with, cried with, had lunch with and been on so many journeys with wrote the sweetest letter, The day my boss and I went to her office to tell her of all the tragic events that had been happening in my life was one of the hardest conversations I had regarding this whole big mess. I loved her and cherished the friendship we had built in only a few short months! The letter from my boss was particularly powerful in the eyes of my attorney. It showed that my character truly was one of honesty and trying to do the right thing. I am attaching it here (with personal information blacked out). I am attaching it as it will play a role in a future posting.
My parents and I have traveled to Colorado for sentencing day. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I enter the courtroom nervous, but confident. I was not quite prepared for how much talking from both sides would take place. During the course of the hearing, my attorney becomes so flustered with how things are going that he literally has to ask the judge for a break. He is beet red. The judge asks why he needs a recess and he states "My blood pressure is really high right now and I desperately need a moment to wash my face and run to the restroom." This is an attorney that has tackled murder cases and violent crimes. He is very well respected and has a great record. We aren't in a trial, only in a sentencing hearing. At this point, I become a little more anxious. He returns, I make a statement to the court, the DA has lots to say and now it is time for the judge to order sentencing. My heart is pounding, I am ready to get out of there, go get my parents (who I left in the hallway, because I couldn't bare for them to see me in the courtroom) and start the long drive back home for the last time.
I am asked to stand and again, I obey. The judge gives the following sentence:
8 years probation
500 hours of Community Service
Restitution, with a restitution hearing at a later date
and...................................
50 days in jail.
Oh my goodness.
Wait, did I hear you correctly?
Don't you know I don't belong in jail?
This......this was very close to my very worst day.
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